"Choti Ma, I'm going out for a while and I will be back before dinner." he informed as he grabbed his keys and walked out of his house. He felt suffocated, he needed a fresh air to rejuvenate his mind and body and there is only one place in Jetsar that can give him that. His mind was cluttered, thanks to Jagya, his conspiracy against him and Anandi and this was very unlikely for Shiv Raj Shekar. He was a man who had full control of his mind and heart till the day she started ruling his heart. His lips curved into a smile when her thoughts came into his mind. It seems like the whole world knew how much she meant to him, how much he loves her except her. The beholder of his hearts is totally clueless about it. His family knew it, Mahi knew it, Ashima knew it, even Bheem Singh knew it and irony he could even boldly confess his love for her to Jagya but not to Anandi. It was easy for him to tell the whole world how much she meant for him, how much he loves her but it was almost impossible to tell her.
Despite the strong and composed Anandi that everyone sees, there is a fragile girl who is reserved of her emotions and feelings. Maybe it was the scar of the past that has made her suppressed everything to herself, to show everyone that she has moved on. His instinct told him that she needed a friend, a companion more than a life partner. She needed someone whom she could trust; someone whom she could pour her heart out; someone who wouldn't judge her from her past. She was bind into a relationship, a marriage at a tender age by her family when she hardly understood it. She was again bound into another relationship by her in-laws before she could discover love on her own.
His jeep came to halt at his favorite spot in Jetsar, a place he discovered by accident. The calmness of the lake always gave serenity to him and he believed it will again today. He eyes immediately fell on a familiar petite figure sitting by the lake and his heart instantly recognized it was Anandi. "Looks like someone else is also in need for tranquility" he thought to himself as he walked over to her. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't realize his presence until she felt his hand on her shoulder. Her heart instantly knew it was him; she quickly fluttered her eyes to hide the traces of tears in her eyes. "Collector saab, aap yahan?" she asked him as he made himself comfortable next to her. "Well, I could ask you the same question as well? What brings Sarpanch ji to my favorite spot?" he asked. "Nothing, looks like your favorite spot has become my favorite as well" she replied still avoiding to meet his gaze. She just hoped the breeze would dry off the tears from her face but she failed to realize that she couldn't hide the sorrow from her voice. "Aur?" he asked her. "Aur matlab? Aur kuch nahi. Maan karta hai yahan thodi dheer beto isye wajah main yahan ayi" she replied unable to understand the sternness in his question. "Anandi ji, mere taraf dekho" he requested her. She slowly turned towards him, hesitantly meeting his eyes. The moment she met his gaze, she knew that he didn't need to see her tears to know its existence. "When are you planning to share the reason for this?" he asked as his fingers reached out to wipe the tear stains from her face. "How do you manage to come whenever I need you?" she asked him avoiding his question. "Well that's the power of lo..., uhhm friendship" he avoided blurting out. He was glad that she was still preoccupied with her thoughts to decode it. "Woh chodo, you have still not answered me Anandi ji?" he reminded her. She couldn't lie to him nor could she hide it from him.
Anandi took a deep breath, looked away from his eyes before she gave him the reason behind her turmoil, her tears. "Kuch nahi, collector saab. I was just thinking about life and how reality hits you whenever you think you have gotten a grip of life. It's funny how life gives you something when you never asked for, and snatches it the moment you want to have it. Life gave me a beautiful childhood without asking and snatched it in the name of marriage when I was beginning to experience. It gave me a ristha that I never asked for and snatched away from me when I actually begin to realize what marriage was. Never in my wildest dream, had I thought of marriage again in my life but now everything happened so fast. Now I'm just... " Anandi was unable to continue as tears choked her. Shiv placed his hand against her, giving her the courage to continue. "I just have the fear of losing you. We both know that our marriage is a compromise, till today I don't know under what circumstances Dadisa made you agree to the marriage but she knew I could never deny my mother's last wish. Despite it, I have learned to value our relationship, the bond that we share and now I'm scared of losing it" she confessed to him. She felt his grip tighten on her, she thought he was being her support but little did she know that it was his pain when he knew that she thought he agreed to marry her out of compromise, sympathy.
"Compromise! You thought it was a compromise?" was all he managed to utter. His question took her by surprise. "Collector saab, mein..." Shiv got up before walked towards to his jeep before she could complete. Anandi was perplexed with his reaction; she has never seen him so disturbed. His back was facing her but she saw his clenched fist on the jeep hood and she immediately reached out for him. He felt a gush of relieve within him, his anger vanished. Shiv took a deep breath, gained his composure and finally met her gaze. Gone were her sorrow, there was nothing left but concern; pure concern for him. She was clearly disturbed by his reaction. "Anandi ji, do you know what you mean to me? Do you have a slightest idea on what the kind of effect you have on me?" he asked her and her silence gave him his answer. "I don't what in the world gave you the idea that I agreed to marry you out of compromise. I don't know when I started falling for you, I don't what made me fall for you; whether it was your naivety, your compassion for others, your boldness, your determination, your smile, your laughter or even your anger but one thing is for sure that what I feel for you is more than mere admiration, respect or even empathy. I love you Anandi that is the truth. I truly love you. That is why I agreed to marry you. Our marriage would have definitely happened even if Dadisa had not come to me with your wedding proposal. Of course, it would have happened differently. I would have courted you my way, made you realize your love, realize how it feels to be loved and then proposed you on my knees under moonlight. I was dumbstruck when she read my mind and asked whether I would marry you. Do you know how happy I was that moment? Do you that it took me awhile to realize it was reality and not dream? Do you know that your mere touch makes my anger melt, my fears disappear? Every drop of your tears pierces my heart and I would do anything to bring back the smile on your face, to hear your laughter again." he told her
"Do you still think I actually agreed to marry you out of compromise pagal? I agree that everything between us started falling in place pretty fast, but it doesn't mean that I was conned or coaxed into it. I gave you the space and time you needed because you just went thru a divorce and lost your mother almost the same time. You were in need of a good friend at the moment, and I wanted to be there for you, to share your sorrow and bring back the smile that you have forgotten so I extended my friendship instead of confessing my love for you. There have been times when I wanted to tell you how I felt but it just never happened. I just became tongue tight whenever I tried. You just have the charm to make the Collector of Jetsar stumble for words" Shiv finally confessed.
Anandi was awestruck, she couldn't believe her ears. "Looks like Sarpanch ji is still not convinced?" Shiv tried to lighten her mood because he definitely didn't want his confession to happen this way but it just gushed out. He mentally smacked himself for blurting out his feelings instead of comforting her; he made it more difficult for her. "You actually gave me an option to go back to Jagya in the mandir?" she asked him. "A wise man once told that if you love someone, let it free. It will come back to you and mine did" he smirked. "I have full faith in my love" he added. "Just the way it brings you to me whenever I need you?" she added. "You actually heard?" he questioned her. "I learned the skill of observation from someone close to me" she replied. "Ah, so it actually backfired me this time" he laughed. "No, it actually led me to discover something new. To discover the true meaning behind those eyes" she said pointing to his eyes. She finally realized it was love, true love for her; something that she thought she was never blessed with. "Let me tell you another thing that you don't know Sarpanch ji. You are the queen of my heart and continue ruling it the way you do. Nothing will be able to snatch you away from your happiness, from me this time and this is a promise my love" he vowed. His words brought out a genuine smile on her face.
No comments:
Post a Comment